To make it better, stop making it worse.
An upstream fix for conflicts within your organization is to revise your code of conduct. If you frequently encounter interpersonal conflicts or disciplinary issues within your organization, adopting a thoughtful approach to updating your code of conduct can have a significant impact.
The problem with assuming positive intent
“What if it’s obvious they don’t have positive intent?” “It sets you up to gaslight yourself.” The phrase “assume positive intent” often arises when I work with organizations that aim to manage internal conflict more directly and effectively. I’m not the one who brings it up, but not because it’s potentially false.
Do you need a mediator? Part 2: Is there something better?
I got another message from folks at an organization that is drowning in conflict. Leaders are leaving (or getting pushed out), the systems in place are tedious and draining on everyone left standing, and they are worried their entire organization may collapse because of the volume and intensity of conflicts. It might. But it probably doesn’t have to. I’m confident they can turn it around. They may think they need a mediator, but they actually need something better.
Do you need a mediator? Part 1: Maybe you actually want an adjudicator?
It happened again, and I wasn’t unhappy about it. Some folks contacted me asking if I would mediate a conflict within their nonprofit. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing when this happened in the past.
Role Clarification as Conflict Mitigation
Unspoken expectations are a classic catalyst for conflicts to hatch and thrive. One of the more insidious examples is how people define (or don’t) the role someone plays in an organization or on a team. Learn how to have a role-clarifying conversation in this article.
Two Fabulous Leadership Communication Tools
It’s tough to see people struggle and there are easy in-the-moment ways you can help by building a stronger connection with that person and moving things forward at the same time. Here are two tools to make that happen.
Team Decision Making
There’s not one optimal way for teams to make decisions, so having a good understanding of several methods will help you make an informed choice when deciding how to decide.
High Standards as a Pathway to Justice, Part 2: What about the people who struggle with...people?
In this second and final part of the High Standards as a Pathway to Justice series, we’ll look at how to support folks who are “not people people” when an organization elevates the expected standards for interpersonal communication and repair when there is conflict.
High Standards as a Pathway to Justice, Part 1: What about the people who struggle to get on board?
Let’s talk about the folks who struggle when an organization throws its code of conduct in the trash and moves to create a culture of repair and justice instead of one based on surveillance and punishment. This comes down to two related questions: What about people who are not on board with communicating and interacting in a repair-oriented way? What about the people who have historically had a difficult time with nuanced human interactions that we expect not to fare well when repair-oriented interpersonal communications are an expectation within the team?
Throw Your Code of Conduct in the Trash
Have you looked at your organization's code of conduct lately? It's probably garbage. I’m not a lawyer, and this isn’t legal advice, but it is, quite likely, absolute trash. Let’s talk about why your code of conduct is trash and what to create instead to build stronger organizations where everyone can thrive.
How to tell someone they're doing a lousy job
The most supportive and psychologically safe culture won’t keep teammates from doing a lousy job and making a mess of things. Here's what to do about it.
Do you need to fire someone?
If you’re wondering if you need to fire someone, the answer is yes. You’ve probably already waited too long, and you’d be better off right now if they had been fired a while ago.
Beloved Leadership #7 - Prototype Early and Often
Practice #7, prototype early and often, feels like a specific method for deconsolidating rights to design (practice #1).
Beloved Leadership #6 - Trust there is Time
The classic adage to “go slow to go fast” means treating time like an abundant resource and not succumbing to the business-as-usual frantic pace and busy everything is urgent culture.
Beloved Leadership #5 - Source from Multiple Ways of Knowing
I know I’m not the only person delighted by articles with footnotes full of references and books with lengthy bibliographies. So much wisdom is missed and suppressed when we go all-in on praise of the written word and exclude other ways of knowing.
Beloved Leadership #4 - Seek Difference
“Seek difference” seems so eye-rollingly simple that I feel like Rimington and Cea are saying it elicits a sigh and commentary on the state of initiatives for expanding demographics within business-as-usual organizations. They clarify that instead, it is “a commitment to continually seek out relevant forms of diversity and create team cultures that effectively engage differences.”